I grabbed a Chicken Philly from Huey’s tonight for dinner, and nearly got raped by a crackhead.

Huey’s basically has three menu items to me, the hueyburger, the chicken philly, and the potato skins. Beef, chicken, or something a little lighter.

I felt like chicken tonight, so I picked up a chicken philly, 86 mayo, lettuce and tomato. I hate mayo, and while I like lettuce and tomato, they have no place on a “Philly”.

Anyway, I picked up my food, and ran into one of the neighborhood crackheads, Willy Lee. Willy is one of the “Good” crackheads, in that he’s willing to work, as opposed to being a professional bum, and he doesn’t try to intimidate people into giving him money. He cleans up some of the bars and takes out trash and such. I’ll try to find a picture of him when I can.

I usually throw Willy a dollar or so, just because he’s entertaining. Last time I saw him I had no cash on me, and told him I would get him next time.

Well I saw Willy, and being in a good mood, and feeling bad because it was fucking cold, I gave him a $5. This resulted in Willy’s gimp ass limping rapidly after me saying “Come here Sig!”, and me screaming “Don’t try to hug me you dirty fucker!”. After I jumped in my car he informed me I was “A bad motherfucker!”, and stopped traffic so I could pull out of my parking spot.

I hope he enjoyed his crack rock. I certainly enjoyed my chicken philly.